30th August 1990
Dear Sir,
I am writing on behalf of Mrs Browne and myself to inform you of the acute embarrassment and distress that we have suffered since you published
a picture of us riding the log flume at Barry Island. ("Get Living"
Magazine, August 26th, WATERfront series)
I wish to most strongly complain firstly about your photographer taking
a photograph of us without permission, and secondly publishing that
photograph without a thought for the serious consequences that might
ensue.
We should not have been there in the first place. We should in fact
have been in Ilfracombe, but inclement weather and high seas near Foreland
Point, around which we were endeavouring to sail in our small but otherwise
excellent little yacht, "Cygnet", frankly beat us. We had
to spend a very long day running before high seas, against the tide,
ending up in Barry Harbour, a safe haven, or so we thought! Mrs Browne
is not an experienced sailor, and was very tired and frightened
. The next day as some sort of compensation I took Mrs Browne to the
Fair. There is little else to do in Barry, and I thought that a ride
on the Log Flume might be therapeutic, in some way gently re-introducing
her to the water and the spray so that she might regain some of her
confidence lost in the previous days sailing!
She did indeed enjoy the ride but admitted that she had kept her eyes
closed during the big dip, the most crucial part! I therefore encouraged
her to try once again, the following day, this time saying that I would
pay if she promised to keep her eyes open all the time. She agreed to
this, not knowing that I still had the tickets from the night before,
which the attendant had fortuitously forgotten to collect.
Well the photograph says it all. She did indeed keep her eyes open.
Ironically if she had kept them closed we wouldn't have been so easily
recognised.
We did of course notice that our photograph had been taken and although
Mrs Browne would have liked to have a photograph as a keepsake frankly
I avoided the photographer, thinking that she was there on a commercial
basis. Anyway we were not looking our best after our ordeal, there being
some mix up over the key to the sailing club showers, and the fact that
Mrs Browne's hot brush does not work on the yachts 12 volt DC supply.
No sooner than your paper comes out with our photograph in it than
a string of friends phone up, casually mentioning the photo, and then
making some remark that they thought that we were going to Ilfracombe
etc., etc. My credibility as a sailor is in tatters. To add to that,
to be actually photographed in Barry is !bad enough, but enjoying oneself
at the so called pleasure park even worse! (Although both Mrs Browne
and myself consider the Log Flume itself to be quite good fun!)
Personally I have not been quite so embarrassed since I met the Vicar
in Kwiksave early one Monday when I though it would be quiet.
Since the publication Mrs Browne and myself have become social outcasts,
no longer welcome among the discerning social clique to which v/e once
belonged. We have received no party invitations at all. (However this
may be something to do with the affair of Mrs Browne and the banana
at the last party she went to, without me, I hasten to add.) Even Mrs
Browne's son has now refused to be seen in public with us.
So Mrs Browne and myself have a bleak winter before us. No invitations
are expected for autumn B-B-Q's, no wine and cheese after croquet, no
cosy suppers or wild parties, except for two. And all due to the thoughtlessness
of your photographer.
This letter is to inform you that I am considering taking the matter
up with my solicitor, although I will probably have to pay to see him
because, as you will understand, we no longer meet socially.
However I am willing to accept an out of court settlement consisting
of the following:-
- A published apology, following generally the suggestion below.
- Two copies of the photograph, which Mrs Browne particularly liked.
She even wondered if the actual negative was in colour? In fact the
photograph was very good of Mrs Browne, and although not wonderful
of myself, it did manage to catch me with my eyes open, a very rare
occurrence these days, for some obscure reason.
Suggested Apology
The Editor wishes to apologise for the publication of the photograph
of Mrs P. Browne and Mr C.Harris riding the Log Flume At Barry Island.
In no way was it meant to imply that they often went to Barry, except
by accident, or that they often rode the Log Flume, or indeed that they
actually enjoyed the experience. Mrs Browne and Mr Harris wish to say
that they usually shop in Sainsburys, not Kwiksave, and that they will
consider all invitations to parties and other social events. Mrs Browne
would like to take the opportunity to apologise to Mr Richard Williams
for the incident with the banana.
(Signed by the editor.)
I remain yours indignantly,
Christopher David Harris, Mr., Maker of Fine Kitchen And Bedroom Furniture.
PS Mrs Browne says to forget the apology, just send the photos.
